It has been an obscene amount of time since I last wrote a blog post. I have spent the last year building my podcast/vlog DrProfessorMom. In truth, I have not been inspired to write but somehow at 3AM I feel the urge to write this post. To tell you how my inner #girlboss returned. Now you Gen Z’ers and Gen Alphas are way too young to remember the rise of “hashtag girl boss” but let me be the first to tell you it was a movement from like 2008 to 2015. The movement was birthed from the story of Sophia Amoruso, who at the age of 22 went from selling vintage clothes on Ebay to creating a multi million dollar online fashion brand titled Nasty Gal. But for young women especially millennials it was not so much about the fashion because if I am honest I couldn’t afford or wear a single thing she sold. It was more about what she represented….that a young woman with a dream, determination, and self-worth could achieve anything. That age was not a predictor of tremendous success. And most importantly that the days of young women seeking marriage and children as their end all be all was dead. Young women were more determined than ever to create a life for themselves before seeking those things and just so we’re clear I do not judge either way. I am only telling you that the movement ignited a drive in young women that had never been seen before. You are welcome Gen Z and Gen Alpha.
I graduated from college at the peak of the #girlboss movement and though I had operated my entire life without limits I felt even more limitless going into my PhD program….somewhat unstoppable. So it was shocking to me when my inner #girlboss died. Or what I should say is that after pregnancy, a terrible bout with postpartum depression, gaining 80 lbs during pregnancy, and a traumatic and tumultuous 2024 the #girlboss in me had been ripped into a million tiny pieces that I had no energy or ability to put back together. I was the definition of broken. Now I am not going to spend much time on what broke me down…I have several videos on this very subject on my vlog DrProfessorMom and Podcast . However, I need you to know why she disappeared so I can tell you how I got her back.
To be honest who I was at the end of 2024 is a complete rejection to who I am at my core. And please do not look at my career success as a metric that I was ok because what you must know about me is that I do not quit. I do not care if my world is crashing down….my science is my art and I do not play about my art. So no I never quit…it is a trait my mom instilled at an early age…you always do what you promised to do. So quitting would be quitting on my students, my son, etc. and that will never happen. But what I was lacking for the first time was self-worth. Let me break this down. I tell my students all of the time….do not spend so much of your energy worried about self confidence. Confidence sits on shaky ground. Example, I believe my self to be highly intelligent but put me in a room full of computational material scientists and my confidence goes out the window (i.e., I strongly dislike programming). Confidence ebbs and flows and that’s okay. As we evolve and push ourselves beyond what’s familiar, there will be moments when we feel strong and moments when we struggle. What must remain constant, though, is our sense of worth and self-esteem. They need to be built on a solid foundation, because they shape how you value yourself, how you feel about yourself, and how you speak to yourself. Most importantly, they determine how you allow others to treat you. Without that foundation, you’re left as a shell of yourself, operating in survival mode rather than living fully. I see self-worth and self-esteem as core values—essential, not optional. You need them to survive. I can tell you this: for two years, I didn’t have them. During that time, I was 50 lbs overweight, was constantly sick, and felt exhausted beyond words. There was a stretch when I didn’t sleep for four weeks. It was awful—truly the worst I have ever felt in my life. Motherhood is hard work!
I want to be very clear about something, though. From ages 0 to 23, I was always a heavier kid. It wasn’t until I started running in graduate school that I went from a size 14 to a size 8. My lowest point had nothing to do with my weight and everything to do with losing my sense of self-worth and self-esteem. I had been heavier before and still felt confident, capable, and grounded in who I was. What changed during those two years was not my body…..it was my foundation. When self-worth erodes, it shows up everywhere: in your health, your energy, your boundaries, and your ability to rest. That’s the lesson I learned the hard way…your body can change, your circumstances can shift, but your worth has to remain non-negotiable.
So here I was at the beginning of 2025 certain that I needed her back, but I was no longer a care-free, no responsibilities 22 year old. I was a career-driven, ambitious mom of a two year old with no biological family around. So what I needed to find was my inner #womanboss (it doesn’t have a nice ring to it like #girlboss) but nevertheless I needed to return to my core. First step was I needed to envision myself differently. In moments like that, there was really only one way for me to see myself clearly and that was by seeing myself as God sees me. A quick PSA: I’m not trying to convert anyone to Christianity. I’m simply sharing what helped me, and this is part of my story.
In truth, my first step was growing closer to God. You might wonder why. At the end of 2024, I felt a strong pull to go to church, so I spent the last day of that year there, sitting in conversation with God. And here’s what I came to understand: when you lose your self-worth and self-esteem, other people can’t give them back to you. Support helps, love helps but restoration has to come from the source that sees your value even in your darkest moments. I read the Bible everyday and not just going through the motions….I would spend weeks on the same story. Writing my thoughts down. And my favorite story is the story of David (I will tell you why in a different post). My prayers became intentional and conversational. When negative thoughts crept up I replaced them with scripture. I got rid of things that I felt distracted me from God so I stopped listening to secular music for six months. If it wasn’t in a movie….I did not know it existed. The only albums l listened to in 2025 were Lady Gaga and Olivia Dean.
My second step was slowing down. Sometimes you have to slow down so you can move forward with intention later. I had been moving far too fast. In just three years, I moved from DC to Columbus, started a tenure-track position, secured three large-scale grants, built a large research group, bought a house, and gave birth to a child. It was too much, too fast. If I’m being honest, I was already exhausted before my son arrived—motherhood simply added to an already overwhelming load of responsibility. So I slowed down. I traveled less (and yes, my friends and family will probably laugh at that, because I’m always on the move—but relative to previous years, it was a real shift). I set firmer boundaries with my research group and with people in general. Most importantly, slowing down gave me space to heal and to truly enjoy motherhood. My son and I had an incredible year in 2025…we genuinely had a blast. I also spent time cultivating and nurturing relationships with friends in Columbus because with no biological family around, I needed a village if I was going to survive.
Lastly, I needed to get to the root of the triggers and experiences I had never fully dealt with, so I started hypnotherapy. I actually completed my final session in November. Let me be clear….hypnotherapy is no joke. It takes you back to the moment as if you are experiencing it all over again. But I’m a big risk, big reward kind of person, and I went into it prepared. I knew it wouldn’t be easy, but I also knew that real healing rarely is. I once heard a therapist say that you never truly heal from certain things and I strongly disagree. I believe real healing is possible, but it requires serious inner strength and sustained effort. You have to be willing to stay the course, even when it’s uncomfortable, and to have faith in the process. That’s where my relationship with God became essential. It taught me how to trust what I couldn’t yet see or fully understand.
Month by month, I felt myself coming back. My #girlboss meter was steadily rising, and I was glowing inside and out. I started returning to the things I love: going to the movies (especially independent films) and reading again (I’m currently reading Dead and Alive by Zadie Smith). And honestly, I haven’t felt this good in years and I mean years. I feel light. I feel free. I can feel God opening doors I can’t even see yet. This season reminded me that self-worth is not something you earn through productivity, titles, or sacrifice, it’s something you protect. Being a #womanboss is not about doing it all or carrying everything alone; it’s about knowing when to slow down, when to heal, and when to choose yourself without guilt. When your worth is rooted, you stop operating in survival mode and start living with intention, joy, and clarity. That’s the work. That’s the lesson. And that’s the version of myself I’m committed to modeling for my son, for my students, and for every woman who needs permission to believe she is already enough.
From Aeriel, With Love
Aeriel Views 